I am amazing, F says. And indeed I am.

Because I ordered this set of glow-in-the-dark neon lizards and had it shipped to her.

F has two cats, and one of them, Tomato, loves to bring toys to people for them to throw and her to fetch. At some point in the past year or two I gave F's cats a couple of these lizards. Turtle liked them well enough but Tomato was completely enthralled. F kept finding them in the water dish, in the litter box, all kinds of places, but Tomato especially liked having them hurled far away so she could run and fetch. She loved them so much that they went to pieces. Saturday when I was at F's place Tomato brought me one little dismembered paw and dropped it for me to throw.

"Isn't that the saddest thing?" F said.

So now Tomato is very happy and I have justified my existence.