Two signs that I have seen in labs where I have worked:

Fast
Cheap
Accurate
... Pick Any Two


and


Lab Rates
Answers: $1
Answers Related to Question: $2
Answers which Require Thought: $3
Correct Answers: $4
Dumb Looks are Still Free

This last reminds me of when the engineers back at the environmental consulting business I used to work at would yell at me: "I need a number!" "Six!" I would answer immediately. "...Oh, did you want me to run your sample? That will take a while."